Stereoscopo

Not that I'm a complete expert. But, I have Rayfire. I end up using rayfire mostly just because It's pretty simple to work with in max. (and most of my projects are done in max). But If your talking about some seriously massive destruction sims. I would go with Houdini. Which seems to work with complex simulations waaayyy faster than rayfire would. If your destroying a building: rayfire.

If your destroying multiple buildings that's collapsing on a bridge full of cars while the earth is being torn apart between them: houdini :!: :mrgreen:

Overall, learn both. Its useful. I did it (to an extent), and i'm 16.

Plus, 3ds max doesn't have reactor anymore, which would make car destruction very difficult

Both are really good, Its just that when It comes to price, softimage might have the upper hand. the only reason I go to Houdini is for that occasional extremely complex idea. though softimage isn't as procedural as houdini, it can get some tough jobs done like fire and fracturing. Its all about the price